Title: Meet Jane, Porn Site Surfer
by Ginnie Faustino-Galgana
Published in The Web Magazine, May 2001, p. 44
Picture the Dalagang Pilipina-- songs, poetry and dance have
been dedicated to the beauty, piety and grace of the woman.
On the other hand, there is the stereotypical man-- lustful,
physically more able, the "haligi ng tahanan".
Close your eyes and turn away now because your Dalagang
Pilipina is changing. You think only men enjoy the carnal
pleasures in the interactive media called the internet?
Fine, not many women have actually ventured to admit this
nor do most women even dare whisper the possibility. While
she is still coming out of her shell, there is still that part of
her that has been feeling about.
Meet Jane (not her real name). She says she reserves the right
to keep her age as a mysterious 30-something. She is an
I.T. professional and a graduate of a respected University.
"I visit a lot sites on the Internet because I learn more. I find
that I have more opportunities for me now because of the
online network I have established." Jane says.
On visiting porn sites, Jane had a a mouthful (pun intended):
TWP: Do you visit porn sites?
J: Porn? Sure!
TWP: Why?
J: Why not? (smiles)
TWP: (flustered) I mean, what do you get out of it?
J: Oh! Well, you know. It's partly educational.
TWP: Really?
J: Really! I've visited hard core sites and wondered what
makes them tick. Then I see that... well, the girls
can be quite pretty too. (pause) You think I'm lesbian,
don't you?
TWP: Are you?
J: I don't think so. I still prefer males as bed partners.
TWP: But you like looking at naked women...
J: And naked men, and the entire human body. The human
body is a work of art. And there is something to seeing a
naked woman feel so confident about her body so much
that she shows it to the world... literally.
TWP: So, it's not really the carnal pleasures you're after?
J: I won't say that. I think it's sexy. It actually turns me on
to see a woman's body. Then I look for my man and attack!
(laughter)
TWP: Yipes! Ok, ok... it actually excites you. How?
J: It's like an inspiration, you know. I see her and I start thinking
if I can do what she's doing and if it will drive my man crazy.
TWP: And...?
J: It actually works... most of the time.
TWP: When doesn't it work?
J: When he's not into it. Sometimes, he doesn't like what we
see.
TWP: He surfs with you?
J: Yeah! It's a shared experience. I like it like that, you know.
He doesn't have to hide his desires from me and we learn at the
same time. I also get to see first hand what makes him go to
those sites.
TWP: And what have you found so far?
J: Men are visual creatures. They like smooth skin, supple curves
and a woman who can make them feel different.
TWP: How do you make him different?
J: Oh gee... what I meant was -- a woman who can make him feel
things he does not usually feel.
TWP: Which are...?
J: I don't know how it is with other women but for me, this shared
experience is one of those things. How many women do you
know actually participate in those male adventures?
TWP: True.
J: And it doesn't stop on the porn sites. We also enjoy watching
x-rated videos together. We sometimes try out what they do.
(pauses... laughs) It was funny at the start, you know. He was
so surprised that I was so game about it.
TWP: How did he find out?
J: Actually, I caught him surfing one time. He didn't know I was
right behind him already and enjoying the view. When he
clicked one of the windows close, I protested and said I wasn't
finished with it yet. He was surprised, of course. He literally
jumped on his seat because he didn't know I was there in the
first place. (laughs)
TWP: Then?
J: He asked me how long I had been there and then when he was
more or less settled, he asked me if I minded that he was doing
that. And I said no.
TWP: That's it? It's so anti-climactic...
J: (laughs) Not really... When he was asking me, he already had
an idea that I didn't mind so his hands were already starting to
travel all over me. (pauses) Are you going to quote everything I
say here?
TWP: Probably.
J: Ok... Won't you get censored or something?
TWP: It really depends on what you say...
J: I better be careful then...
TWP: We could also try to be creative about it.
J: Hmmm. (smiles) We could do that. (grins)
TWP: So what happened next?
J: Next thing we knew, we were all over each other right
there by the computer table. That was something!
TWP: That good huh?
J: And it was a precedent. The next time he surfed, he
took me beside him and asked me what I wanted to see.
You know, I had not been a regular at porn sites before
then. I mean, people would forward URLs to me and I'd
check them out and say, "ok, nice boobs, cute butt" then
click off the window. I didn't search for those sites before
I found out that we could share it.
TWP: You mean, it was actually him that introduced you to the
wonderful world of porn sites?
J: You could say that. He showed me the sites he liked and,
soon after that, I was looking for other sites to show him.
TWP: Do you have sites you like that he doesn't?
J: We both like the sites but there are preferences. He prefers
the all out, all open type of sites. I go for artistic presentation.
Have you seen our wallpaper? I chose that one.
TWP: Oh, ok. If he hadn't lead you into getting interested in those
sites, would you get interested in them just the same?
J: I probably would. Come to think of it, I would have found them
after a while.
TWP: How come?
J: Well, I had been interested before. This interest was already
building when I started having relationships. I guess it just
got nudged with him.
TWP: Do you surf for sites for women as well?
J: Yeah! Of course! But only when I'm alone. He gets
a little insecure about the pictures I see. I guess men
really do care about their own endowments as compared
to other men.
TWP: Does he know that you go to these sites?
J: He does but we don't talk about it so much.
TWP: Why do you go to these sites?
J: To appreciate the male body. I like a well-sculpted body
and the way men handle themselves. Visually speaking,
their pleasing to the eyes. But it's a different story about
the body I like feeling.
TWP: How different?
J: I like them soft. I don't like too much hardened muscles or
too many corners. There is nothing like a soft cushion when
you lean on his chest or those warm arms around you.
TWP: When you go to the sites, do you get excited?
J: Not really. They're just nice to look at.
TWP: Do you think the sites project women (or men) as sex objects?
J: Partly, yes. Sometimes, I wonder why these women just
spread their legs so readily. Then I asked him about it and
he said it's because they find that they get more attention
that way. You've got to be an exhibitionist to understand it.
I shrugged at it. I'm more of a voyeur than an exhibitionist.
TWP: What do you mean?
J: I like seeing others get down and go wild. I like hearing them
enjoy each other. But I am not sure if I'll ever participate.
TWP: Have you been invited to Swinger parties?
J: Yes.
TWP: Have you gone to any?
J: No.
TWP: Why?
J: I don't like the idea of sharing my man. I love him. I
enjoy making love to him and ogling at other lovers with
him but I think I'm going to get jealous if I see him going
wild with another woman.
TWP: And you don't get jealous when he openly appreciate other
women's endowments?
J: No. Well, I used to, but then I got to thinking and realized
that, at the end of the day, he comes home to me and he gets
wild with me, that he goes crazy because it's me making
love to him.
TWP: Do you think other women surf porn sites too?
J: I think so. But our society is too far conservative to let them
admit it. I shared chat sessions with other Filipinas and we
openly flirt with men in the chat rooms. We form tag-teams
and pick on a guy. When we don't find a suitable guy, we
end up chit-chatting there and they tell me about the sites
they've found. They have lead me to some sites that we
enjoy now.
TWP: Do you know these other women personally?
J: We met online and we have been chatting a lot. I've met some
in person and some are really good friends now, because we
share things in common and understand each other.
TWP: Do you think they will agree to an interview too?
J: I'll ask them but I don't think so. Your topic is controversial
and these are closet-porn-site-surfers. They surf but their
husbands don't know it. I'm lucky, you know.
TWP: Why do they surf?
J: The few I've asked before say that they're just curious. Some
say they get tips on how to perform better.
TWP: Have you encountered lesbian and gays?
J: Lots of them. The lesbians have tried to hit on me but I
would always dodge them. I really can't imagine myself
with another woman.
TWP: How about gays?
J: They're my yakking partners in the chatrooms along with
other straight women who enjoy their company. Those guys
are really something. They really think they're women.
(pauses with a smile) You know, the idea may seem funny
but, somehow, sometime later, you feel for them and then
you start to understand their frustration. At least, you know
they live with it and deal with it.
TWP: Would they agree to an interview also?
J: You know that's the funny part. I don't think so.
TWP: Why funny?
J: I used to think that these gays were all exhibitionists. When
I met some of them and befriended them, they turned out
to be just like us. Some could be hiding in closets. Some
are aloof. Some are just lonely. And they can be quite shy
too.
TWP: That's a new concept for me too.
J: Yeah. I used to think that they are all screaming fags but
I found out that they're just like anyone of us.
TWP: Any tips for other "enthusiasts"?
J: Just enjoy them, sister! I don't see anything wrong with the
naked body. I hope, one day, all this malice would just
disappear and we can all appreciate what the body is
really like.
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