Hung Up

Almost four decades and still wondering...

why nudity is so bad
that a woman's breast would cause sin
when God made it and it's man who thinks it's evil
that skin made bare could turn men
into monsters and animals
so we clothe in animals we'd slaughtered and be civil

why death is such a bane
that even men of power pay fortunes to avoid it
when everyone dies one way or the other
and everyone born will meet death
and sink into her arms like a long lost lover

why loving could hurt so much
that men and women go crazy
avoiding it, yet yearning for it
that an act of love could be beautiful
yet be shunned as sin by those who see it

so wisdom of age has denied me this
yet this ignorance is so far from bliss...

=)K

My Little Busnessgirl

So far, my daughter seems to be thriving in her new school.  After being voted as the class muse, she is now being "courted" to join the band.  She is hesitant because she doesn't know how to play any instrument.  I told her she could learn and they would teach her anyway.  I also suggested that she could try being a majorette since she knows some moves from her gymnastics lessons.  She is thinking about it.

Her major concern about joining the band is that she might not have enough time to dedicate for it given her schoolwork.  To be honest, I'm half-happy and half-sad about this reason.  Happy because she seems to be taking responsibility of her schedule and priorities.  Sad because I know she can manage her schedule better if she wanted to.

In any case, she found out this week that she could sell stuff at school.  Inspired by her former yaya, Ate Ester who is a very enterprising mother herself, Kimi volunteered to her teacher that she has those flashlight pens which the teacher expressed desire for.  With that declaration, she also told her classmates that she sells them and promptly got orders from classmates as well as upperclassmen. 

This prompted a trip to Divi for me last Friday.  It caused me to be late for a make-up class in the afternoon (I think it's worth it though).  When my schedule suddenly became clear yesterday, she said she wanted to get more merchandise from Divi so we spent the day working on her business -- getting merchandise from Divi and creating her "books."

We passed by Cubao to do an errand for my parents and dropped by a large second-hand store near the Cubao Post Office.  She found two Barbie-size horses there and promptly bought them with her own money.  In Divi, she made more personal purchases.  I didn't stop her from pampering herself from her earnings.  I say she deserves to enjoy the fruits of her labor.  Besides, she has been saving her baon (I give her P30 per day) since she doesn't have to spend for anything in school.  This little girl has money to spend.

She did say she is saving up for a bike that she'd like to get for her birthday, so she was mindful of her shopping expenses.  Her spending wasn't at all out of control -- she got a grand total of 5 items which cost her P300 in all.

Not bad for a starting entrepreneur...

=)K

Right before school starts

Kimi starts with a news chool this year.  She isn't very excited about it but she has trusted us to move her studies.  Her acceptance of something this big for her and her unwavering trust at our judgement on her behalf simply boggles me.  It's a amazing to see that when I have found it hard to simply place my trust on anyone.

And she has grown!  Almost five feet now.  I'm expecting her to grow taller than me.  She saw my wedding shoes the other day and she said she would love to have it someday.  I said she might be able to wear it on her gradeschool graduation -- yes, that soon.  And she is starting to have breasts...

Oh dear, she is getting into that scary part for parents!  Right now, she is still innocent and trusting.  On one hand, I am scared about what the world will do to her.  On the other hand, I want her to learn her lessons.  I good bargain is for her to learn her lessons in the not-so-hard way.  Oh, if only it were possible to rig her life to be like that...

In any case, the scary part hasn't really come yet.  Her exposure to the bad elements have been filtered thus far by her parents and school.  I hope the new school will be good to her.  I hope she blossoms in this new environment. 

I hope.  I pray, just as I've always prayed since I found out I was pregnant with her -- Dear God, please don't let me screw up her life.

Oh well... so life goes on.

=)K

Storms Signals

Storm Signal #1:
Don't you just hate it when people don't trust the decisions you've made?  Worse, they think the worst of it and tell you you're harsh and unkind... and it's your own mom.

Storm Signal #2:
Don't you just hate it when other people give away your things?  Imagine this:  my daughter left a bag containing her swimming effects in school last March.  She didn't tell me until April so we sent someone over to get it... several times.  Each time, we get feedback like "there's no one with a key to open the lost and found cabinet" or "the people with keys are too busy to open the firggin cabinet..."  We go there today to get the bag since it's the first day of classes and the nuns have cleared the cabinet and gave the contents to charity... and they never contacted us about it either...  Those Sisters of St. Paul need to learn some manners...

Storm Signal #3:
I have no possible scholarship for my 4th year of studies... It's not for two years, but it makes me wonder about being in the program...  Will I be able to finish?

Storm Signal #4:
only 2 of 9 got their visas in batch 1... so far...

Storm Signal #5:
house help isn't really househelp and will leave on the first day of classes.  oh, and she left the stove turned on with no flame and the gas tank on too the other night...

gasp... breathe... gasp... breathe...  will need emergency equipment soon. 

a deluge, suffice it to say.  i'm letting the tsunami tide me over, debris and all, since there is nothing i can do about it, basically.  thank god for little girls with a ready hug and kiss for one distressed mama.

=)K