joketime: Call Center Applicants

from one of the mailing lists i am subscribed to... this is sooooo funny.
=)K

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I work as a recruitment associate for call centers, and i often encounter funny lines. hey, i'm not laughing at the people. just the lines. here are some of them:


1. I am a flexible and I am perseverance person (when asked to describe her personality)


2. I want to learn more English words. (when asked why he wanted to work in a call center). [Damn! Read the dictionary!]


3. Do you have any extra ordinary positions that I can take for granted (Roughly Translated: Meron po ba kayong ibang position na pwede ko'ng apply-an?)


4. "Ten" (When asked to count from 1 to 40 to measure her articulation)


5. "Kelan Po?" (When asked to count from 1 to 40 to measure her articulation)


6. "I would choose IRATE CALLERS, Sir." (Answer to the question: If you will change the COLOR of the world, what would it be and why?)


7. "I want to entertain and satisfy customers" (hmmm?.interesting concept. so, what are you wearing right now?)


8. "I want to expose myself to the customers." (Answer to why he wants to work in a call center") ? Flasher ITO!


9. "Is there an opening for a call center?" (Oh so you want to become a call center now huh?)


10. "Hi. Good afternoon, my name is _____, and I'M a call center from the Philippines." (solohin ba)


11. Chocolates, boys with tongue pierce." (An applicants answer to the question: What are your weaknesses?" )


12. "I think Grade 3 and 4 students are very childish!" (Answer to the question: What do you think is the most difficult part of teaching Grade 3 and 4 students)


13. "Haller???!!! ??? (knocks on the table) THE SALARY!" (Answer to Why do you want to work in a call center?)


14. "I'm a married person, I have 2 children, the same boy"


15. "It's a colorful world." (Describe the shirt you're wearing.)


16. "It's a boomed industry." (So all agents are now dead, I guess)


17. "I like to explore other people." (ay sus?maniac ka ano?)


18. "I want to explore myself more." (Answer to why do you want to work in a call center. bagay sila ni #17...)


19. "Hu u? How did you get my #? Text me back, huri. Send me load." (The audacity of an applicant can sometimes appall you.)


20. "I was scheduled for an exam this morning?.I wasn't able to make it?because I WAS TONSILITIS."


21. "Hi Maam, do you have an opening." (Lokong to ah!)


22. "I want to adventure into the graveyard?" (Langya, mahiilig ka sa patay!)


23. "I would like to be a part of the graveyard?" (isa ka pa...thriller...thriller night)


24. "Gd pm sir, im realy sri wen u call me I cnt hear clearly coz d raindrops of d rain is vry noisy. Rgrdng of wat u want 2 knw y u call me?" (A text message from an applicant)


25. "Do you accept walking applicants?" (No, we prefer flying ones)


26. Interviewer: So you're an undergrad. What year are you in right now?

Applicant: Oh I'm just here in the house. Interviewer: No, I asked you what year you're in. Applicant: Year? I'm 25 years old! ( Nagkakaintindihan tayo pare...)


27. Applicant: Agency ba to? Interviewer: No sir, head hunting firm.

Applicant (turning to friend): Egg-hunting daw pare! (Happy Easter!)


28. "In the middle of my study at Adamson, my father fortunately passed away." (FORTUNATELY? ??!!!)


29. "Hello, i just want to inquire about the application resume that i planted in the computer..." (Ano ka, farmer?)


30. "May inaantay ako na trabaho kaya gusto ko lang na may mapag LILIBINGAN." (Answer to the question "Why do you prefer a part-time job?" Tagalog na yun ha! Mahilig talaga kayo sa patay!)

work desk

here is a play with images. the horny mind will see somethings more clearly. but really, should dirty minds prevail?

=)K

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swivel me, push me
lean back and relax
let me free you in me
your back i'll not tax
close your eyes and see
to behold is a touch
going under, slowly into me
shed nothing, not as much
just start it, o so slowly
it is meant to be so
wanting and knowing only
pull close, do not let go
hold tight, hold on to me
just you and i ought to know
alone, unemcumbered, you see
move, dance as if for show
no dancefloor for you and me
beat of drumming feet below
the beat that lets me be.

a shot of tequila

to be honest, i have never been so drunk that i wouldn't remember what happened to me. yes, I had gone to the point when i would be overly talkative or be unabashed of what I was doing, enough to embarrass my sober self later. that was a long time ago. it would be pretty hard to get me drunk these days when i expect to drive.

here is an ode to the drunkest i have ever become, thanks to a shot of tequila.

=)K

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a shot of tequila


my tolerance is low
my mind is in a whirl
my eyes want to close
warm all over, silly girl

light-headed and tipsy
i wander through the corridor
dragging my feet, lonely
scrambling for the door

fumbling with my keys
hoping to land on the bed
plopping down, shaking knees
hearing hums in head

giddy at one point
grinning that silly grin
looking as if i smoked a joint
cracking jokes all green

but the daze isn't from alcohol
the haze is not from drugs
living my dream life on a roll
until reality my hair tugs

Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros

Rating:	★★★★
Category:	Movies
Genre:	Independent

As if being a "Tween" wasn't awkward enough, here comes "Maxie" and he's gay.

Living in the city slums where drugs, gambling and theft are commonplace is the setting of this film. There are many clues to the story that are not dished out as many are used to in the more commercial movies. I watched this film with our maid and I was laughing at many parts but she'd only follow when I make my comment. So, really, this film isn't meant for mass appeal.

The story is poignant. The love the Oliveros family had was touching. They're all males. The mom had died years before from disease (even the disease wasn't mentioned), and the dad had to make ends meet after getting into heavy debt from the hospitalization and medicines. The eldest helped the dad and their choice of business was the enterprising world of cellphone "re-selling" and a form of local gambling known as "jueteng." You can just imagine how "safe" everything was for the youngest, Maxie.

But Maxie finds something admirable in everybody. His dad and brothers were thugs yet his sweetness never waned. They all doted on him (as is common for the youngest in the family), and he took care of them as the only "female" of the household. Outside the home, Maxie had friends everywhere, and soon finds his puppy love in a greenhorn policeman.

The film made it a point to establish the setting and the personalities. And this created an aura of familiarity. I felt drawn to the place and the people. In the end, the tragic circumstances of Maxie's family became a hopeful change. For once, I felt pretty good about such a situation as theirs-- Maxie was their baby and they would make sure he had a future.

All in all, I am happy to have seen such a good turn of Philippine film-making. I've often been mum about the Filipino films I see because I will only rant and get bitchy. But not in this case.

Kudos to Jeffrey Jeturian for his superb writing! And same to Nathan Lopez for being a very convincing the Tween-Gay, Maxie, as well as the rest of the cast. For once, the extras didn't seem like they were simply hired at P300 per day. Oh, and I thought the guy who played Bogs looked familiar -- turns out it's Ping Medina. Yup, great acting runs in his veins!